This is His Way of Saying Goodbye

"06/3/2008 10:03 am

di ko rin alam kung ano nangyare, parang computer na biglang nag log off... im not saying that i dont want you back, i juz dont want to ask you back yet i cant give the necessary treatment you deserve... ill be honest with you i cant provide you what you need now... maybe time will come na i will have time for myself to be happy with you, ang hirap kalaban ng distance and time... di ko kaya..di ko rin alam kung sa lyce pa ba ko magaaral pero i badly want to stay there for you, dahil yun nalang magiging way to work tings out... sana lang pagsakto na yung time anjan ka parin, im not asking you to wait, i juz want things to be the way it should be, kung dumating man yung time na yun at wala ka na, i guess i have to move on, pero i will not move on if chances are mabigyan ng opportunuty.. if you dont want me anymore i wish your happiness to someone else hu can love you more than i can. "


It was a hot summer morning when I turned the laptop on and checked my mail and of course open my friendster account. "New Comments", that sign wasn't new to me. Coz everytime I open my account someone has sent me a comment. But this day is different from the rest. He has sent me a comment once again. And I've thought, just now, that maybe, just maybe, this will be the last or close to the last writtings i'll ever receive from him. That's what he said. Maybe that how he say his goodbyes. Life's really ironic, how can something so beautiful and wonderful has to end? Life is annoying. But, we have no choice. it's part of living. to be loved and to be hurt by those people you love. Maybe it's my fault. maybe his fault. I thought im prepared of what may happen to us. i thought if we make it or break it i can accept. but during that one hot summer morning, i doubt it. i am not prepared. and during that very moment i felt my world just stop, my heart stop supplying blood all over my body. i want to break down. i want to cry. but i can't. coz i don't want others to see me crying. I hope when he says he loves me and still wants me he's saying the truth. So at least the pain will be less. But sometimes I wish he's not telling truth. So i will be hurt. and have no choice but to go through my life alone. so i won't expect, i won't hope. that someday, we'll meet at the right place and time and try our fate again.